Sunday, 12 February 2012

Time Wisely Spent

A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.  ~Lois Wyse

I was talking to Gee the other day, saying that I felt I was spending too much time on Facebook and twitter and I really needed to focus on my Life. She gave me a stern look and commented that there were quite a few people saying such things recently. And how disappointed she was by that. I was a little surprised at her response, given she's not always the greatest supporter of technology. Gee went on to make some observations which I have since spent some time thinking about and will embellish and share.

Facebook is a fantastic tool to keep in touch with people who aren't sitting right next to you. It has become a friendship and relationship building tool. When I thought about that, I started thinking about how blogging became another part of my life when I started in 2006. Blogging enabled me to form amazing friendships with people all around the world; people I wouldn't have necessarily found in my normal day to day life. Facebook takes this to another level.

I have 313 friends on FB. I have family in London, Trinidad, Antigua and Vancouver (I'm sure that's not all the places, there are bound to be some stragglers). Through FB, I've reconnected with people from my childhood, who have pretty much scattered to the four corners of the globe. I maintain contact with people I've worked with, who I currently work with, who I studied with, who I hang out with, not to mention other bloggers. I have also made friends with friends of friends. Generally speaking, all of the people who I'm friends with, I consider friends. Doesn't matter if I've never clapped eyes on them before. It hasn't interfered in my enjoyment of their company, my concern for them when their going gets tough, my appreciation of their support and caring when times have been hard for me.

It seems I am all about communication and connection. I drink my first cup of coffee, wearing my pink fluffy dressing gown, hunched over my laptop as I catch up with what's happening in everyone's life. Yes, it might seem banal to go through Status Updates: Fred got no sleep. Alice is eating porridge for breakfast. But in these small details, I am part of their daily routine and vice versa. If Harry doesn't post an update in a couple of days, I send a message, find out if he's okay. I get to check on how the new baby is wrecking sleep; whether a broken-hearted friend found solace with the blind date; whether someone totally bonkers continues to see fairies. And I get to do this without spending a fortune on pens, paper, stamps or phone calls. Lets be honest here, if I spent the time physically writing to someone, I'd write to maybe one person a week. Actually, I lie. I wouldn't write to anyone at all. I hate writing letters long-hand. And as for typing...forget it, equally unlikely to happen. E-mails, well, you've got more than half a chance.

So, the easy time I spend dedicated to annoying my friends on Facebook actually reinforces my connections with them. Our Status Updates and cheerful banter, means we are part of each others lives, despite being in different houses/towns/counties/countries/continents. It's not all easy sailing. Friends still get grumpy, fall out and misunderstand each other. Heck, maintaining a virtual friendship can be equally fraught with difficulty as it is in real life. The forum is only thing that changes.

Ultimately, we're all in this together, alone. It boils down to the fact that I believe that Life is too Fucking Short. The questions NLP have asked of me focus around: does it work? Does it add value to my Life? Yes. A resounding yes! Not having a decent internet connection thanks to my laptop's aversion to coffee with milk and sugar, made me realise how much I love being part of the Facebook community and how much I love being part of the Blogging community.

I've really missed having a public blog. I'm so glad to be back. Yay! Did you miss me?


  1. Yes! I missed you. And I totally agree with you about FB. I can't say I often post personal things there, but I do chat with friends (even you!) on there and it really is a great way to stay in touch with people.

    And when it is -40 outside in my end of the universe, it sure beats the hell out of getting dressed in enough layers to look like the Michelin Man and braving instant frostbite just to go see someone!! FB and blogging can be warm and cozy... :-)

  2. I can't keep up with posting on them all, but I do comment sometimes and I do agree, it keeps me in touch with people. It's blogging that's made me real friendships with people who started out as strangers, of course.

  3. pony girl ~ I missed you too. I'm not entirely sure I'd brave -40'C for a friend, not even Robert Downey Jr!

    z ~ hello lovely. Yes, you are active on pretty much everything now. I'm not surprised you find it difficult to touchbase with everyone in every forum.

    Yes, blogging is definitely home to me.

  4. I made the mistake of being friends with my son's friends on I need to keep quiet to avoid emarassing him.
    Mind you they've found out about the blog lately which is also starting to stiffle me there too

  5. Of course we missed you!

    I have to admit that I do not go to FB as often as I used to: too many people complaining/bragging/being overly political. Makes me crabby.

    :-) Welcome back!


  6. macy ~ you're such a better mum than me. I consider embarrassing Boy as part of my job description. Actually, we both think it's our family duty.

    pearl ~ I missed you too! I ignore the overly political people and focus on the fabulous ones. Of which, I'm lucky there are quite a few around me. Want to add me? :-D

  7. Roses, be my valentine! [mmmwwwaaahhh]

  8. lx ~ awww....thank you darling. I'd love to.


  9. Have you no shame at ALL, LX?

  10. lx ~ I said I'd be your valentine, before I knew you'd been on everyone else's blog asking the same question.


  11. Hello Roses,

    I love your new place. The background image really set a nice cosey mood! Is this a scene close to where you live?

    I must say that blogging has saved my life in many ways. It helped me reconnected with the world after a very painful loss. It's great to have "real" friends and relatives that you meet flesh and blood, but interracting with total strangers and sharing some very personal stuff that I wouldn't even tell my own mother was very liberating for me.

    And like anything else, with some reasonable discipline, the Internet can be an incredible tool to communicate and share new ideas, certainly more "real" than television!

    Now... my nose is catching some scent of men fragrance... Oh it's you lx! Still sampling cologne? Which one is it this time? ;)

    Anyhow, best wishes to you Roses on this new journey.

  12. jon ~ I agree whole heartedly. I can't imagine what my life would have been like, without it. If I think back took a path that would not have included blogging, I know my life would be completely different. Definitely not so much fun.


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